About woman101

Hi, Do I ever feel your pain. At one point in my life I have felt like you are feeling. It was back in 92. Until one day I thought enough is enough my kids were small at the time too. I really started to search the bible I mean search. For the bible is our manuel for life. Do not ever think you are not worthy for you are. I was so into the bible and slipped into my own world. I was truly searching for answers to my problems. I did not neglect my children nor my husband I still did what I was suppose to do for them. They were happy. At that time I was always pleasing everyone else and their needs but never my own. I totally lost myself and the meaning of my life at that time. The bible tells us seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and everything else shall be added to you. I was so into finding my life person and doing something so that I would be happy again. My husbands response at that time said snap out of it. It was not easy to do. You can't snap your finger and say ok I'm happy. I talked to my doctor about it. He set up an appointment for me with a sychiatrist. He was saying I needed to talk to someone. By the time the appointment came I had cancelled it. I came to realise I was afraid of people. Afraid on what they thought about me. The way I looked the way I dressed. After searching in the bible I came to realise I am worthy. It did not matter what others thought of me. It was how I thought of myself and I knew God loved me uncondinally. I took on the courage to take on a newspaper route. First I started with 20 customers than increased it to 83. It really helped me alot. I was not afraid anymore. The people loved me for me. Then I took a summer job on top of doing papers I worked at Marineland. Lots of people there. Worked that job for 6 seasons. Opened up my own business after that. It went well until bang. Lost contract and slipped right back where I was again in 92. I had almost lost my house in the process. That is when I found this sight aidpage. My life is now wonderful had a job that I just got laid off from but I am not looking at it as a loss. I am looking at it as when a door closes another one will open to something better and bigger. I see things now with my spiritual eyes not with my physical eyes. My physical eyes will always see lack. I do not lack anything. God truly always supplies. I'm now always focussing on what I do have. I believe when you feel good good things happen. You have your children and they love you and you love them. As I write this to you I am also praying for you and your children. Consider this a new day. Tell yourself you are worthy because you most definately are. Look inside yourself and see your strengths. Look at all your talents. Eg. if you sew perhaps you could hem or patch clothing for someone. You have children perhaps you could watch someone elses child while your children are at school. The other day I was vacumming my husbands truck and I thought maybe I will clean other peoples cars for them too for some people just don't like to do that. I believe we could do anything that we choose to do. I decided for myself I choose to be happy. I choose to love myself for when I do this I bring all these good things to me. I choose not to look at what I don't have. Remember you found aidpage. You have friends. I have read Susie6 posts alot she has truly been an inspiration to me. Sunshine has also been there for me along with others here. I am truly thankful for them all. In the past I have also had shut off notices. I know what that feels like. Life still throws me curves but now I think ok what is the lesson for me here. I use to panic but now I am able to focus on a solution and not the problem. We will always get stumbling blocks in our lives and I feel we can overcome them. I am still here and stronger than ever. As for your childrens dead beat dad perhaps there is government assistance for a lawyer for you so you could chase him down. I find it shameful for fathers to do this to their children. We are here for you. Want to vent just give me a shout. I have been where you are except my husband is still here. I always put God first over everything else without him through his son Jesus I have no idea where I would be he has truly picked me up when I fell down. For when I am weak He is strong. I thank God I am truly blessed. I have totally reprogrammed my mind. Listen to your inner voice. You are worthy God loves you. Believe your blessings are coming. Feel them like they are already here. Praying in Jesus name from this day forward everything is going right. P.S. I hope this was not too long for you. Your friend

About woman101,

  I can totally rlate with you. I have also had those terrible thoughts, thats its easier to end it all, but for the kids.  Your children need you.  I am in a similar sitauation, and I know how bad the stress can be. It's all consuming.  I pray that someone can help you with your electric and meet your financial needs.  Keep praying, you are doing the right thing, and have faith. he is the God of the eleventh hour....don't llose faith.  I will pray for you & your family.

May God Bless you!!

carole